What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 00:10
But ive been too sick for many years..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
If there is an abandoned house with no owner, can I live in it?
(And it was in our own minds.)
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I have no regrets .
I was very sick at this time too.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Is Russia’s evacuation of navy ships from Syria a sign of declining influence in the Middle East?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
If you got to make your own K-pop year-end awards show for 2024, who would win?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
How much does a doctor earn in Sweden per month?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
As i do to all so called friends.?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Trump Crypto Wallet Goes Dark Following Cease and Desist - Decrypt
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When she asked me how she looked .
What are the cities in England, UK that have trams?
Comes on , in middle age.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Subway owner buys popular chicken chain in $1 billion deal - PennLive.com
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Which are the latest interior design trends?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
What do you typically do while on meth?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
We all went to grammer schools
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Kquorans, can you please write a story?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I was scared of men, in general
One cannot live in the past .
What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I waited trembling.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I don,t even have a pension.
Im still living with it.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She was in good health!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
All the time i was locked up.
I write beautiful poetry .
Why did i forgive my father ?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I was 9 years of age.
Put me off passion for life!!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Would this be the day?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But, we were locked up after school.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We were not on the streets..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He knew the spot.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And i lived it daily.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I think the readers, may guess!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She married twice! .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She wouldn,t have been !
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Who then, do I blame.?
So, i spoilt her more .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I never cut or harmed myself..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She found it foreign!.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
This is soul school!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What did i know ?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
So whats the point in blame.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
It was going to be , some day.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Ive learnt so much.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Especially a lifetime of it.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She loved him until the end.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My family never makes their pension either.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I said to her
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
My life is so biszare .
But it wasn’t much.
I was seconnd youngest,
Was to survive, this bastard.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I could never make a relationship work though!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I will be 64.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !